It is 4:38 a.m. The sky is daylight, enough to see by. Our resident crow family is awake. Baby Crow is singing. Feed me, mama. His needs and wants begin at daybreak. I hear him all day. He is big enough to feed himself, but he loves the attention that mom and dad and older sibling offer. Connection. Care.
Today, and every day, I am Baby Crow. Feed me, I call to Source. Words. Ideas. My writer’s heart is hungry.
I am always wanting to make something. The creative heart that is me is always eager, excited, anticipating. ‘’Yes!’’ is her answer to the ideas and the words that Source offers.
It is more than want. It is the need to create, each day bring something new into being. Feel energy and promise. Feel idea that whispers ‘’I am love, let me play. Let me be born. I choose you, I choose your creative heart to receive and cradle me, give me form, give me beauty, and let me fly.’’
This is creation energy meeting and matching the energy in my heart. This is potential felt, accepted and loved, formed through attention and grace to become alive here in this world.
You might say I am writing this. I am the artist, writer, creator. True. But I do this in always-partnership with Source who is also Artist, Writer, Creator. We meet and match each other, and spark life.
This is my gift on this day. To hear Source whisper to me, ‘’Let’s play. I choose you.’’ And my creative heart shouts back, ‘’Yes!’’ A gift to me. A gift to you who reads this, and feels the words and the love that moves within them.
I had errands to do yesterday morning. Insurance renewed for the car. Property tax paid for the year. Books and dvds returned to the library. A Monday morning beginning-of-the-week list.
What I did not know. Source had a Monday morning list for me as well.
Five gifts. Unexpected. All ease and joy.
No line-up at the insurance office. Amazing. Not the usual. In. Done. Out. Easy.
A line-up at the municipal hall, eleven people deep. Everyone waiting to pay their taxes before the Thursday deadline. I settle to wait. Except. Wow. The staff are zipping people through. Zip. Zoom. I’m done. Four minutes including waiting in line. I’m impressed. I do this every year. Usually it’s twenty minutes, at least. I tell the woman at the counter. She laughs, says thank you. She is smiling and so am I.
Return the books and dvds to the library. Unexpectedly meet a friend who has been raiding the art book section. We go to one of our favourite cafes. Talk art and life for an hour. Leave feeling inspired, and with a date for next Monday too.
Real, brewed, iced tea with fresh lemon slices, at the café. Two tall glassfuls for each of us. Mmmmm.
Back at the library, in the kids section. On the discard-books-for-sale cart, Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Tolling Bell. The same edition I received as an eleventh birthday gift during summer vacation. I loved this book. My first introduction to mystery stories. Read it several times that summer. I pick up this copy that has appeared in front of me. Pay the librarian her dollar. Take the book home. My birthday is next week. Happy early Birthday, Cat, with love from Source.
Mentioned in this post:
Carolyn Keene, Nancy Drew #23 Mystery of the Tolling Bell, Grosset and Dunlap Publishers
I asked Source what we are writing today. ‘The Universal Font’, they tell me. ‘What?’ I say. Then, oh, I get it. Font. Typeface. The form and feel of the letters. The shape of the writing on the page.
Seems like a very odd topic for my blog. Where’s the connection to healing, I am wondering.
I go with this. I have learned that Source is a master at connecting ideas in interesting, expanding ways. Source does not think like me, even if I am a small physical version of Source energy. Source thinks WIDE. Says to me, ‘Love, joy, connection, play, fun, happiness, laughter. The Universal Font.’
Remember, I am a Joy Tigger. These amazing abundant energies, these beauties are here to play with. Tap into, feel into, create from, write with. I choose a font to create my life and my world. I choose the form and feel and shape. I write my world, and everything I choose becomes my ink.
So, easy choice. Now that I know what it is, I choose the Universal Font to write my life. I want my life full of love, joy, connection, play, fun, happiness, laughter. Abundantly full.
How do I do this?
I pay attention to my thinking. I choose my thoughts to match the Universal Font. When they don’t, I notice by how I am feeling, and I change them back. It means paying a lot of attention, because my busy, bouncy Tigger brain sends out thoughts like a river in spring flood.
I know that my thoughts write what I focus my attention on. My focused attention writes what I see and believe to be true. All of this writes my reactions, emotions, and experience. And then I think about the experience I just had—more thoughts—and start the process again.
I would much rather focus on what feels good than what feels bad. Another easy choice. What is trickier, is learning to consistently turn myself towards what feels good. Around me is a non-tigger world that likes to focus on what feels bad, and tries to teach me to think from that. Think about and express what I don’t want, rather than what I do want.
It’s a pattern I was trained into. I am changing it. I hear myself think, ‘I don’t like cloudy days’. That’s the old pattern, and I notice because the feeling I have is sad and disappointed. I change my words, rewrite them in the Universal Font and think, ‘I love sunny days.’ And now the feeling I have is warm, happy, excited. I do this, and I rewrite my life and my world. I turn things around. The day outside my window may still be cloudy, but I am not.
I’m a Joy Tigger. You could also call me Pollyanna. I am, and I am happy to be. Pollyanna, in the 1960 movie, sees the good in people and the possibilities in life. What she sees, she acts on. People and things change, and turn to the good. I think she knew about the Universal Font and how to rewrite life.
I choose this. I choose I write my life and my world with the Universal Font. Love, joy, connection, play, fun, happiness, laughter. An abundance. I choose I am a bouncy Joy Tigger with a pen, a Pollyanna with a laptop, and I am turning my world. Join me. Let’s play.
Mentioned in this post:
Tigger from the books Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne (1882 – 1956)
Pollyanna from the movie Pollyanna, 1960, Walt Disney Productions
I have a new word in my heart’s vocabulary. Grace.
New to me, yet this is an old word. I’ve heard people talk about the ‘grace of God’. There, but for the grace of God, go I. The song Amazing Grace tells of being taught by grace, and saved by grace.
In this world, I see grace being beauty, being tenderness and mercy, being forgiveness and reprieve and absolution. Grace as a gift, given unexpectedly and lovingly, that relieves, rescues, saves.
I think grace is connection, a gift in the same way love is a gift. Always here with me. Always available and speaking to me. Always holding me in its embrace. I need only open my heart, and become grounded and present.
Grace is another word for love, another word for Source, for God.
I see the grace given in my life. Love. Connection. Forgiveness. Beauty. Gratitude.
Grace is what writes with me, these words on this page. Whispers in my ear, write this, then this, and this. Grace opens my heart to my life, all of it. Opens my senses to what is around me in this moment. Says to me, use everything. All is inspiration, when I am open to grace and vulnerable to life.
Letting myself become vulnerable.
The dictionary defines vulnerable as being available to injury. In other words, I am being advised to stay closed off. Closed is safe. Vulnerable is being in danger.
Surely vulnerable can simply mean open.
When I am vulnerable to all in my life, I learn and understand. I feel and do what could be difficult and painful, but I hold it and myself in love. And then grace holds me, and I find my way through. Nothing to force or fight, nothing to push against in anger or fear, nothing to close away from.
I think the dictionary writers got it wrong. Vulnerable is not being available to injury. Vulnerable is being available to grace and love. It is standing deep in my life, open-hearted and accepting all I experience.
Available to my life. Using everything. An open heart. This is grace. Given, and accepted.