One Of Those Days

joydiary13.page20and21.2018It should have been easy.  One phone call would have sorted it in less than sixty seconds.

I waited.  No phone call.  And then, a mess which is now getting sorted and settled.

It fascinates me how something small and simple, when it does not happen, can really muck up what follows.

I had other plans for today, which mainly consisted of sitting on the beach and writing.  Sadly, instead of the beach, ocean, and sun as my environment, I am in my studio, waiting for phone calls and a delivery company.  Do I sound upset?  Uh huh.  However, I am using this time and the dregs of my frustration wisely, and writing a blog post.

The point is, it’s one of those days where some things go sideways.  I could get angry, and I did.  What I didn’t do is stay angry.  I used to make that choice when my day went mucky.  I would stomp around, snapping and biting and letting myself be angry for the whole day.

I rarely make that choice any more.  When I do, it’s for an hour or two, not a day-full.  My heart has become bigger, and as a result the rest of me has become wiser.  The bigger my heart, the more I see in the world.  The more I see, the easier it is to let go of my old patterns and make a different choice.

What I see right now is me sitting in a studio space I love and which loves me right back.  Out of the windows I see sunlight, blossoming trees, perfect blue sky.  The air smells of pollen and Spring.  I hear silence, then birdsong, then silence again.  Waffles the cat, whose fur and eyes are vividly orange, wanders by, doing her routine check of where-everyone-and-everything-are in the house.  When she is done, she’ll go for a nap in the puddle of sunlight on the dining room floor.

I am reminded with everything my senses know in this moment, life is good.

I have choice—feel good or feel angry.  I choose to feel good.  The sideways mess will sort itself upright again.  I know it.