I’ve been listening to Sonia Choquette on the Hay House World Summit 2015. Sonia talks about walking the Camino de Santiago across northern Spain. Eight hundred kilometers. Five hundred miles. A pilgrimage. She carries grief on the long walk. Deaths of a brother and father, the breaking of a long marriage, the certainty of failure in her life’s work. She walks and forgives, walks and lets go. Finds her way through to Santiago, balance, and home.
I am a pilgrim in my own life. Finding my way. The map is my heart. I walk with my map open, certain and sure of each loving, joyful step. I walk with my map closed, lost and aching, blind and stumbling. Refusing to see and feel. Refusing to take the single action that will save me—open my heart again.
Stubborn has been one of my words, and sometimes it fits me like a tailored suit of clothes. Resistant. Unwilling. Yes, those too. I’ll do it myself. Say this quietly. Pretend to go along with other people’s agendas, and then shift to the side and onto my own path.
Focused is the word I use now, rather than stubborn.
I need to learn things on my own. I can be told something, but I need to test it out, experience it for myself. See and feel all through me, the truth of something.