Imagine A Love Story

Yesterday I pulled one of my framed drawings out of storage.  As of next week it will be a donation to the CNIB for their annual Eye Appeal Art Event.

Right now the drawing is propped up on my studio couch.  There are coyotes walking across this drawing, a wall of coloured stones, and words about building a fence then taking it down.  Really, it’s a kind of love story.

The drawing is all imagination.  There was no still life model beside me as I created.  I imagined an argument and a fence, and what happened after.  Then I drew.

Seeing this drawing has me thinking about love in its various aspects, and how love can grow from imagination.

I love colour.  It’s the first thing I notice in everything I see.  I love light and the physical, emotional feelings it raises in me.  All my life, I’ve felt colour and light run from my eyes through my body as shades of love and joy.  It makes me shiver.

I imagine no colour, no light, and I feel lost.

I imagine never having such love and joy again, and I feel empty.

I imagine someone gentle beside me who still sees colour and light. They speak to me, saying I will guide you through this, if you wish.  Take my arm and we’ll walk together.  You’ll find your way through again.

Imagine this love story.

This is why I give away my drawing, to offer love and joy to someone I will never meet.  To share light and colour from within.

It’s all because of imagining a love story.

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In this post:

CNIB (formerly the Canadian National Institute for the Blind) Eye Appeal Exhibition and Event 2019 http://www.eyeappeal.org/

My drawing is titled “Old Coyote Trick (sticks and stones)”, and it’s the image heading this post.  It is also on my art site at https://www.walkingowlstudio.ca/image/garudas_cheshire_cats_and_other_/old_coyote_trick_sticks_and_stones The words showed up after noticing someone had built a fence immediately next to their neighbour’s fence.  The drawing came after.

I see your fence

Don’t like it

Build my own

Make us small

Judgments  Expectations

Mine  Yours

Not how we are meant to be

Take down my fence

(burn it)

Breathe us big

Pat your fence

(like a friendly dog)

And walk around

How Do You Want The World To See You?

Two months ago, someone asked me a question which has stuck with me.

How do you want the world to see you?

Now, I know from my experience as an artist and writer, I have zip for control over how someone perceives and responds to me and my creations, and I would not want such control.

Still, the question keeps popping into my thoughts.

How do I want to be seen?

I want to be seen as my truest self.  I want to be seen fully open-hearted, where love comes first in everything—what I feel and think, what I say and do, how I treat myself and how I treat the world.  Love as my first consideration.  Beginning there.  Choosing love in my connections, communications, actions, and reactions.

I don’t always manage to begin from love.  I get angry, tired, frustrated, impatient, sad, numb.  My open heart feels it all.  It needs to feel it all, that is its reason to be.  But then, reminding myself to choose love brings me back to a place where I can change how I feel.  It opens a space for me to shift the story I am telling myself, and make it different in this moment.

When I say to myself ‘choose love’, I am reminded I always have choice.  I can react, or I can pause and come back to my heart, recall who I am, and choose to create from love.

I’d much rather create from love.  Love allows me to be true to myself and what I want my life to be.

The question I began with, the question I was asked, isn’t the right question.

How do I want to see myself?  How do I want to see the world?  These are the questions.

I want to see myself, my life, and the world as a place that chooses love first.  Chooses compassion, kindness, and care.  Chooses connection, communication, gentleness, and patience.

A world that chooses to hold each other gently.

A me that chooses to hold myself gently.

This is how I want to see myself.  This is how I want to see the world.  This is how I want the world to see me.

All of us, choosing love first.

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