It should have been easy. One phone call would have sorted it in less than sixty seconds.
I waited. No phone call. And then, a mess which is now getting sorted and settled.
It fascinates me how something small and simple, when it does not happen, can really muck up what follows.
I had other plans for today, which mainly consisted of sitting on the beach and writing. Sadly, instead of the beach, ocean, and sun as my environment, I am in my studio, waiting for phone calls and a delivery company. Do I sound upset? Uh huh. However, I am using this time and the dregs of my frustration wisely, and writing a blog post.
The point is, it’s one of those days where some things go sideways. I could get angry, and I did. What I didn’t do is stay angry. I used to make that choice when my day went mucky. I would stomp around, snapping and biting and letting myself be angry for the whole day.
I rarely make that choice any more. When I do, it’s for an hour or two, not a day-full. My heart has become bigger, and as a result the rest of me has become wiser. The bigger my heart, the more I see in the world. The more I see, the easier it is to let go of my old patterns and make a different choice.
What I see right now is me sitting in a studio space I love and which loves me right back. Out of the windows I see sunlight, blossoming trees, perfect blue sky. The air smells of pollen and Spring. I hear silence, then birdsong, then silence again. Waffles the cat, whose fur and eyes are vividly orange, wanders by, doing her routine check of where-everyone-and-everything-are in the house. When she is done, she’ll go for a nap in the puddle of sunlight on the dining room floor.
I am reminded with everything my senses know in this moment, life is good.
I have choice—feel good or feel angry. I choose to feel good. The sideways mess will sort itself upright again. I know it.