I’m on a break today after three days of drawing. Sort of a break, because while I am doing laundry and other such household chores, I am thinking about my creative process.
I had this idea, when I was an art student, that eventually creating art would be easy. Once I was a well-experience master artist, there would be none of those messy emotional stages of anxiety, fear, and outright panic during my drawing process.
Yes, you who are are constant creators, go ahead and laugh. I’m laughing right along with you.
That naive art-student-me had lots of hope. Hope carried me through the hard scary emotions of creating. I refused to let myself be blocked because I knew making art would get easier the more art I made. Also, I am stubborn.
I was right, sort of. Art making did get easier, the more art I made. Even though the anxiety-fear-panic has not disappeared, as a stage in my creative process these emotions have become smaller, shorter, less intense. I have become used to them. I can keep creating right through them because I know they don’t last.
Anxiety-fear-panic have become signposts for me. They are indicators of how important this drawing or piece of writing is to me, and how important being an actively-working artist and writer are is me. They tell me how non-negotiable it is for me to create from my authentic heart. No shortcuts. No faking it. What shows up in my creation has to be the real thing and nothing less. Something I am proud of creating and sharing. Something that speaks to my heart, and connects with the hearts of others.
To reach that kind of authentic creating, I am willing to move through the messy, hard stages of my creative process. I will be moving through messy and hard again tomorrow, and coming out the other side with a new drawing. I would not want to be doing anything else. I was made for this.
The Joy Diary interactive art show is happening at the Station House Gallery, #1 Mackenzie Avenue North, Williams Lake, BC. The show runs to November 26th. Gallery hours are Monday to Saturday, 10am to 5pm. I am drawing in the gallery studio through to November 24th. Come and join me! https://www.facebook.com/stationhousegallery/