(In honour of Valentine’s Day on February 14th, I’m reposting a lesson I learned about love.)
Choose love. It should be something that comes naturally. For me, not always, although I am getting better at this. Somewhere in my growing up, I unlearned choosing love. The words that follow tell how I am moving back to choosing through love and for love. Let me tell you a story from 2013……
I have been working online and by phone with Dee Wallace and Jarrad Hewett for the last five months. I am part of a large group, more than one hundred of us, international. We are doing ‘Let the Shift Hit the Fan II’, a ten month program of inner work, energy and intuition. We are learning to hear our own voices above the clamour of those around us. Learning to trust what we feel and know for ourselves. Learning to make choices and act on those choices. Learning to create our lives consciously. We are returning, each of us, to our true selves. This is what has sparked my constant mantra of ‘know, trust, choose, create’.
Dee’s channel is telling us we need to learn to develop our focus on feeling love. They give us what we call ‘the Red Dot Exercise’. This exercise seems a bit silly at first, has us laughing about it, that we are loving a red dot on a piece of paper. Then we realize it is working.
This is the Red Dot Exercise we have been given:
‘Make a red dot on a piece of paper.
Drop into your heart center, open your heart, and find a strong experience of love. Feel the joy and unconditional love of that moment. Allow that feeling to expand.
Now for thirty seconds, five times a day, for two weeks, practice sending that love to your red dot. Become one with it. Practice detachment from sending and being this experience of love. Just feel love for your red dot. Leave the thinking and judging aside. Just feel.
For the next two weeks, do the same, knowing that the red dot is simply self-love. EXPECT NOTHING. It is just the practice of sending and BEING the love.
For the final two weeks, you can choose that the dot represents something: money/health, etc., and send love. All feeling, no thinking. SEE IF YOU CAN STILL DO THE EXERCISE WITH NO ATTACHMENT. You are simply BEING Love around whatever subject you choose. You are realizing that the state of love IS that which you have chosen.
It is suggested that this become a way of life. This is not a temporary exercise.
Feel this shift in your heart and your gut. YOU ARE the energy that is the Love.’
I am midpoint in this Shift work and I am seeing and feeling the changes I am creating for myself. Dee, Jarrad, and their channels have my trust.
I find a pad of yellow sticky notes and a red pencil. I make my bright red dot and stick it eye height on the wall above my studio desk. I cannot miss it. I will remember to do this five times a day, no problem, since I am in and out of my studio frequently.
Actually. Yes. Problem. I go into my studio for something. I see the red dot. I say to myself, I will just finish this and do the red dot. I go and finish ‘this’. I forget about doing the red dot, and go on to something else. I get to the end of my day. I have not done my red dot exercise once, never mind the five times I was supposed to have done it.
This is only thirty seconds, five times a day. Two and one half minutes to help myself learn something. I keep forgetting.
Forgetting? Not likely. Something else is going on here. I am resisting doing this. Why?
I know about focus. I have been meditating for years now. I know how my head moves between focus and distraction.
Something tells me that this is a different kind of focus. Meditation is conscious focus on my head, thought and no thought. The red dot exercise is conscious focus on feeling in my physical body and emotion in my heart.
Yes, this is different. I do need to do this.
Why am I resisting?
I do not trust love. No, that is not it. I do not trust loving myself. Big difference. And I do not love myself. I love parts of myself, but not all.
How do I love what I don’t love?
Simple. (My head whispers ‘not easy’.) Do the red dot exercise. Let myself love my red dot on the wall. For thirty seconds, stop what I am doing that is so important, and do something more important. Love my red dot and feel that love in my heart and in my body. Do not think, just feel. No words. No judgments. Unconditional.
Alright, I can do this. I choose I am doing this now.
I put down my books and the mail. I sit at my studio desk, hands loose in my lap, back straight, shoulders relaxed, bare feet flat on the wood floor. Breathe. This feels like preparation to meditate. That is good, familiar.
Breathe. The studio window is open. It is late June and the afternoon air is warm. I can hear my son and husband talking outside in the garden. There is love out there. I can hear it. There is love in here for my two guys, I can feel it. Breathe. Smile.
I look at my red dot. I move my awareness to my heart. I remember holding my son, cradling him in my arms. He was two hours old. I remember the feeling, intense, filling the world, bursting my heart. Flooded, overwhelmed.
That. I let that feeling pour from my heart and pool in my body. Fill me. No words. Just love. I look at the red dot on my wall. I let myself feel this for my beautiful red dot. Float in this love. Soak in it.
I let my body, head, heart, and spirit float here for a while. Might be thirty seconds. Might be longer. It does not matter. Dee said to us, don’t time yourself, just do whatever feels like thirty seconds.
I breathe deep a few times. Come back to the world. I pick up my books and the mail, and head to the kitchen to think about supper.
I will do this four more times today, loving my red dot, letting my body soak in that feeling, letting that love spill into the rest of my day. I will do this again tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.
This is going to change me.
I choose love.
I dream I am water
Cupped in your hands
Running down your arms
Pooled in your heart
Tears washing your feet
Returned to the earth
Mentioned in this post:
Dee Wallace iamdeewallace.com Red dot exercise used with permission. Thanks, Dee!
Jarrad Hewett jarradhewett.com