Monday’s gifts from Source

nancydrew.bellI had errands to do yesterday morning.  Insurance renewed for the car.  Property tax paid for the year.  Books and dvds returned to the library.  A Monday morning beginning-of-the-week list.

What I did not know.  Source had a Monday morning list for me as well.

Five gifts.  Unexpected.  All ease and joy.

No line-up at the insurance office.  Amazing.  Not the usual.  In.  Done.  Out.  Easy.

A line-up at the municipal hall, eleven people deep.  Everyone waiting to pay their taxes before the Thursday deadline.  I settle to wait.  Except.  Wow.  The staff are zipping people through.  Zip.  Zoom.  I’m done.  Four minutes including waiting in line.  I’m impressed.  I do this every year.  Usually it’s twenty minutes, at least.  I tell the woman at the counter.  She laughs, says thank you.  She is smiling and so am I.

Return the books and dvds to the library.  Unexpectedly meet a friend who has been raiding the art book section.  We go to one of our favourite cafes.  Talk art and life for an hour.  Leave feeling inspired, and with a date for next Monday too.

Real, brewed, iced tea with fresh lemon slices, at the café.  Two tall glassfuls for each of us.  Mmmmm.

Back at the library, in the kids section.  On the discard-books-for-sale cart, Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Tolling Bell.  The same edition I received as an eleventh birthday gift during summer vacation.  I loved this book.  My first introduction to mystery stories.  Read it several times that summer.  I pick up this copy that has appeared in front of me.  Pay the librarian her dollar.  Take the book home.  My birthday is next week.  Happy early Birthday, Cat, with love from Source.

___________________________

Mentioned in this post:

Carolyn Keene, Nancy Drew #23 Mystery of the Tolling Bell, Grosset and Dunlap Publishers

Image below from http://romancingthebee.com, post for March 28, 2013, ‘Girl History Month – Carolyn Keene…’  http://romancingthebee.com/2013/03/28/girl-history-month-carolyn-keene-author-of-the-nancy-drew-mysteries/

nancydrew

How to create sideways

 

banfftable.detailI am a sideways creator.  I travel my own route, follow what feels right to me.  I will listen to what others say, and test out their rules and their methods.  If the rules or the methods feel right, I use them.  If not, I shift a bit to the left or right, sideways, the direction my heart is telling me, and go forward from there.

These are my current rules for creating sideways:

  1. I am the Creator of my creations. No one else is.
  2. There are no Rules with a capital ‘R’.
  3. I get to make up any rules I want for myself, but I can’t impose these on anyone else.
  4. I can add, change, discard, and break my rules any time I wish.
  5. I can make up different rules for each thing I create.
  6. I can make up no rules at all for my creating.
  7. My rules are only a starting point.
  8. I can try out anyone else’s rules if I feel like it, and see if they work for me.
  9. The best rules come from my heart.  What do I love?  What feels good and makes me happy?  What do I want to play with?  What do I want to share?
  10. My rules are play.

There are key words here for the creating sideways method.  Feeling.  Heart.  For myself.  Love.  Happy.  Play.  Share.  This is all I need, all I need carry with me into my studio and into my life.

Did. Saw. Heard. Drawn.

lyndabarry3I have made my way through Lynda Barry’s book Syllabus: Notes From An Accidental Professor.  Slow reading.  Taking in the content and structure of the pages, the balance and play of image, word, idea, question.  Seeing how her mind moves, and in turn noticing what my mind touches on.

On pages 61 to 63 Lynda talks about ‘Your Daily Diary’, an assignment she gives her students.  I’ve decided to do this for my blog post, and feel what this recording process feels like.

This is how I do it:  Today.  Seven things I did.  Seven things I saw.  Something I overheard someone say.  Draw a picture of something I saw.  All recorded on a single page divided into a grid of four spaces.  Do it fast.  Five minutes total time used to record my day.  I like the speed of this.  My internal critic can’t handle speedy creating, panics about getting run over, and hides somewhere out of the way.  Excellent.

Because I am doing this as my blog post, I’ll use a list rather than the grid.  A list of the sorts of things I notice in my life, what my mind touches.  Moments of being present in my day.  Here goes.

Continue reading “Did. Saw. Heard. Drawn.”

The summer morning joy list

Blackbird Dance (desire)
Blackbird Dance (desire)

I’m outside this morning on the back deck.  Here in our summer home, writing my summer joy list.  All the things that fall into this moment like pearls on a string, in my lap to be played with, loved, enjoyed, relaxed into.

Yes.  Relaxing into summer.  Mmmmmmmm.

 

Morning sun, warming me, loving me.

Blue blue sky.

White clouds passing.

Wind in the trees and the grape vines, the kiwis and the lilacs.  Shaking the leaves and branches, whispering ‘play with me’ and ‘grow’.

Hummingbird on the clothes line, viewing his world, taking his coffee break at the foxgloves.

Baby crow on the rooftop, demanding, begging, ‘feed me’.  He started calling at daybreak.  He has been fed several times.  He’s still hungry.

Folding chairs unfolded, settled into with blanket and pillow.  Feet up, lap full of binder and loose leaf paper for writing.  Hand full of neon pink pen with pink ink (shades of Dr. Seuss).

Words.  Blessing and gift.

 

This is my summer morning joy list.

What’s yours?

Mirroring Love

Coyote Sings to a Broken World - detail
Coyote Sings to a Broken World – detail

This morning I look into the mirror and what do I see?

I see love.  I see big, fat, wonderful, cushiony love.  I see care.  I see kindness.  I see compassion.  I see forgiveness.  Passion.  Joy.  Play.  Love in all its shapes.

I never realized love had so many faces.  I could have guessed.  I know love is Source,  everything, all.

The version of love I have been is not like this.  It’s limited, conditional.  I’ll love you if you’ll love me.  You love me first, and I’ll control the situation and decide if I want to love you back.  If you love me enough or in a specific way (which you have to guess), I’ll love you too.

This is not love.  This is being closed and cautious and afraid of getting hurt.  This is not actually loving you here in front of me, and not loving myself either.

I am discovering that if I love myself, no conditions on it, it is easy to love the other person, you.  When I love myself unconditionally, my love spills over into the space around me.  Yes, the space where you are standing.  And then you feel love, too.

I love love.  It never runs away or runs out.  It’s always here when I open to it.  Constant.  Waiting for me.  I open to love, and it hugs me back fiercely.  So excited, so happy I am here too, and let’s play!  Love as a four-year-old child sharing all in her toy box.

Unconditional love mirrors me.  It shows me the true me.  It makes me the true me, when I stand in love and only love.  Other things—judgment, limits, holding back, hiding, control—cannot root here or live here.  They need something to push against in order to exist, and love gives no resistance.  They try to push against love, assert themselves, and instead they fall through and away.

In the mirror of love, I see you and me as we truly are.  I see all we have to offer.  The best.

Bright shining stars.  This is us.  In love’s mirror.

Faith and the Mountain

Laid to Rest (north) - detail
Laid to Rest (north) – detail

Faith moves mountains.

I know it does.  My faith has helped me create mountain-sized things in my life.  Many of them.

My faith not only moves mountains.  It is the mountain on which I stand.  From the top I see 360 degrees, full circle.  I see exactly where I am here, now.  See all the possibilities.  I feel into my heart, my passion, while standing here.  What do I love?  And there, yes, way over there, something lights up in the distance.  That’s where I want to go.  There’s my desire, my direction, my creation.

Now I have a creation journey ahead of me to reach what I see shining in the distance.  This journey is easy.  I create it, walking one step at a time.

Easy.

Before I take the first step, I pack up my faith mountain.  Yes, this mountain is very flexible.  I can squash it all up, the whole thing, and fit it into my backpack.  You’d think a mountain compacted to backpack size would not be going anywhere.  But my faith mountain weighs nothing.  This is a floating mountain.  A helium balloon of a mountain.  It carries me.

Say it again.  My faith mountain carries me.

My faith mountain helped me create this blog.

Continue reading “Faith and the Mountain”

The Universal Font

I Build My Castles in the Sky
I Build My Castles in the Sky

I asked Source what we are writing today.  ‘The Universal Font’, they tell me.  ‘What?’ I say.  Then, oh, I get it.  Font.  Typeface.  The form and feel of the letters.  The shape of the writing on the page.

Seems like a very odd topic for my blog.  Where’s the connection to healing, I am wondering.

I go with this.  I have learned that Source is a master at connecting ideas in interesting, expanding ways.  Source does not think like me, even if I am a small physical version of Source energy.  Source thinks WIDE.  Says to me, ‘Love, joy, connection, play, fun, happiness, laughter.  The Universal Font.’

Remember, I am a Joy Tigger.  These amazing abundant energies, these beauties are here to play with.  Tap into, feel into, create from, write with.  I choose a font to create my life and my world.  I choose the form and feel and shape.  I write my world, and everything I choose becomes my ink.

So, easy choice.  Now that I know what it is, I choose the Universal Font to write my life.  I want my life full of love, joy, connection, play, fun, happiness, laughter.  Abundantly full.

How do I do this?

I pay attention to my thinking.  I choose my thoughts to match the Universal Font.  When they don’t, I notice by how I am feeling, and I change them back.  It means paying a lot of attention, because my busy, bouncy Tigger brain sends out thoughts like a river in spring flood.

I know that my thoughts write what I focus my attention on.  My focused attention writes what I see and believe to be true.  All of this writes my reactions, emotions, and experience.  And then I think about the experience I just had—more thoughts—and start the process again.

I would much rather focus on what feels good than what feels bad.  Another easy choice.  What is trickier, is learning to consistently turn myself towards what feels good.  Around me is a non-tigger world that likes to focus on what feels bad, and tries to teach me to think from that.  Think about and express what I don’t want, rather than what I do want.

It’s a pattern I was trained into.  I am changing it.  I hear myself think, ‘I don’t like cloudy days’.  That’s the old pattern, and I notice because the feeling I have is sad and disappointed.   I change my words, rewrite them in the Universal Font and think, ‘I love sunny days.’  And now the feeling I have is warm, happy, excited.  I do this, and I rewrite my life and my world.  I turn things around.  The day outside my window may still be cloudy, but I am not.

I’m a Joy Tigger.  You could also call me Pollyanna.  I am, and I am happy to be.  Pollyanna, in the 1960 movie, sees the good in people and the possibilities in life.  What she sees, she acts on.  People and things change, and turn to the good.  I think she knew about the Universal Font and how to rewrite life.

I choose this.  I choose I write my life and my world with the Universal Font.  Love, joy, connection, play, fun, happiness, laughter.  An abundance.  I choose I am a bouncy Joy Tigger with a pen, a Pollyanna with a laptop, and I am turning my world.  Join me.  Let’s play.

___________________

Mentioned in this post:

Tigger from the books Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne (1882 – 1956)

Pollyanna from the movie Pollyanna, 1960, Walt Disney Productions