I am a contrary

I dreamed friendship, courage, family, love (Ann Louise)
I dreamed friendship, courage, family, love (Ann Louise)


I am a contrary.  The society and material world I live in tries to tell me all is divided, labelled, specified, separate.  It tries to say I am separate from you, from the water I drink, from Raven chuckling in the fir outside my window, from the ground I walk on, from the rough grey stone I hold in my hand.

Not so.  I see, I know, I feel all life, this world, everything as one whole being, one energy, constantly connected, breathing one breath, all flow.

I am a contrary.  The material world tries to teach me to see only polarities, black and white, either-or.

But I see pattern, illumination, both-and.  I see richness and range.  As a child growing up and as an adult living in an either-or world, I remain knowing I am the stars, the sky, the earth water wind, the grey stone, Raven, the fir tree.  I am, and we are, both-and.

I am glad I am a contrary.  Because of this, I know all is one.  I get to see the one whole beauty underneath all of the pieces of this divided material world.  I get to see the beauty and the heart living within each person I meet.

I get to see the hearts each of us carries.  I don’t just mean the unique shining heart each of us is.  I mean every one of us is covered with hearts, all sizes and every colour, one pinned onto us by each person who loves us.  We move through life covered, carried, loved, connected by all these hearts.

If I stand still for a moment, become quiet, feel my feet on the ground and the breath in my body, if I stop thinking and let the quiet settle me, I can feel all the love I stand within.

It takes very little to pin my heart to someone else.  A passing smile, a pause to give another my place in line.  A please.  A thank you.  A hand to help.  Acknowledgement.  Connection.  Kindness.  Only a moment, and now we carry each other’s heart pinned onto us.

I never run out of hearts to pin onto others.  I never run out of room for others to pin their hearts onto me.  ‘Only this much’ does not apply to the heart.

How do I know this?

From a friend I love.  I see her through the eyes of my heart and spirit.  I see her energy covered with hearts, layer upon layer.  There she stands, a tall aspen in full summer leaf.  Held in love.

This is what carries all of us through our lives.  Love.  Offered.  Gifted.  Accepted.  Shared.

I am glad I am a contrary.  I get to see and feel and know that this material world, insistently telling me it is divided, is really connected by hearts, layer upon layer upon layer, all pinned on with love.


Written for Fran

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