I have a new sign on my studio wall. It says ‘I choose I am perfectly healthy’.
I discovered last week that I have this idea in my head that says there is something wrong with me. The something wrong is always health-related.
How did I discover this? I no longer take any prescription medications. The fibromyalgia is healed. And now my blood pressure is normal. This should be cause for celebration. But I realize that this feels very strange to me. Why should it feel wrong to me that I do not need any medications? Why should it feel wrong to me to think that my body is healthy? Why do I think I should be sick in some way all of the time, that sick is my normal?
Very very weird.
Actually, not so weird. In my childhood I learned that there were things wrong with my body, mainly my eyes and my ears, possibly my heart. A childhood punctuated by seeing doctors, being in hospital sometimes, operations on my eyes and ears. Not constant, not even a lot, but frequent enough that it became normal for me to think there is something wrong with my body.
I have been carrying this belief with me under the skin of my life. This belief, like all long beliefs, has shaped me, my choices, my experiences, my life.
It is time to believe that there is something right with me. Thus, the new sign on my studio wall to remind me of what I am choosing to know about myself and my body.
I am perfectly healthy. I choose this. There is something right with me.