In ‘Choose love’, yesterday’s post, I tell the story of my experience using Dee Wallace’s Red Dot Exercise. Here is the exercise again, from the link in Dee’s weekly Monday e-blast. You can sign up for Dee’s e-blast at iamdeewallace.com.
‘First of all, you must drop into your heart center, open your heart, and find that experience of love. Allow it to expand. Feel the joy and unconditional love of that moment. Now for 30 seconds, 5 times a day, for two weeks, practice sending that love to the red dot. Become one with it. Practice detachment from sending and being this experience of love. For the next two weeks, do the same, knowing that the red dot is simply self-love. EXPECT NOTHING. It is just the practice of sending and BEING the love. For the final two weeks, you can choose that the dot represents something: money/health, etc. SEE IF YOU CAN STILL DO THE EXERCISE WITH NO ATTACHMENT. You are simply BEING Love around whatever subject you choose. You are realizing that the state of love IS that which you have chosen. It is suggested that this become a way of life. This is not a temporary exercise. Feel this shift in your heart and your gut. YOU ARE the energy that is the Love.’
Notes on what I have learned:
Make yourself a red dot on a piece of paper like I did. My dot is ½ inch across, large enough that I can see it easily. I used a bright red so that the colour attracted my attention.
Yes, I still have my red dot taped to my studio wall above my desk where I am writing now. Seeing it reminds me to just be love. It reminds me that I choose love as my way of being in this world, no matter what I am experiencing in the moment.
When I choose from a place of love, my choice creates good for myself and all around me. I have experienced this so often that I now just know it and trust it, even if I don’t see evidence of it right away. It has taken time for me to reach this trust. It slips away from me occasionally when I am not paying attention. That is why my red dot is still on my wall.
As I describe in ‘Choose love’, I had a lot of sneaky resistance to doing this exercise. You may find the same thing happening to you. I found the easiest way to deal with my resistance was to pay attention to what I was doing. In my case, I kept saying ‘I’ll do it next’ or ‘I’ll do it later’, and then I didn’t. I was tricking myself by remembering the exercise but not actually doing the exercise. Procrastination at its finest.
I had to understand why I was choosing to not do the Red Dot Exercise. What was the root of my resistance? You may need to ask yourself the same question, then listen to the answer and act on it. For me, I did not trust that I could love myself. I had made the exercise about trust rather than about feeling love. I was trying to make it complicated. That was my head at work, making this all about head and thinking, rather than heart and feeling.
That is what the Red Dot Exercise is about—unconditional heart and feeling.
Before I began the exercise I had to find a memory within myself that was all heart. Dee suggests that if you have a pet you love, concentrate on that feeling. Our love for our pets is often uncomplicated, more feeling than thinking.
For me, the initial rush of love for my newborn son was the memory I chose because it literally was all feeling, unconditional, intense, in the moment. Once I had the feeling of that memory, I let all go except the love. I focused on that and how it felt in my body. No thinking, just feeling. No conditions or judgments. No attaching to anything. I then looked at my red dot and let myself keep feeling that love as fully and intensely as I could. I let myself send all that love to my red dot, as though I was holding it in my arms.
I found thoughts sliding into my head, diverting my focus away. As soon as I noticed this, I refocused myself on my red dot and feeling love for it. You will likely find this happening to you. When you lose your focus, just smile at yourself, and gently move back to feeling love for your red dot. Treat yourself kindly and keep refocusing.
Yes, this is simple. My head still tries to tell me it’s not easy, but I don’t listen. I just do the exercise anyways.
Some things I did to make sure I reached five times a day:
- I made a second red dot on paper, and put it in the pocket of whatever I was wearing each day. The feel of the paper in my pocket reminded me.
- I sent love to the red traffic light as I waited at intersections.
- While I waited in a line-up or for an appointment I would find something red on the wall of the room and send it love. If there wasn’t anything red, I would imagine a red dot on the wall and send love.
- If at the end of my day I hadn’t done the exercise five times, I would lay in bed, imagine a red dot on the ceiling and send love.
This exercise opened my heart, spirit, head, and body to feeling love more easily and simply, without judgement or comment. It is shifting my whole attitude to my life. The love I create for my red dot spills over into everything else.
Mentioned in this post:
Dee Wallace iamdeewallace.com Red dot exercise used with permission. Merry Christmas, Dee!